Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
