even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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