theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
