i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
