I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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