ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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