Nicole vs. Life
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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