You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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