Dual....:-)
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
