I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
