walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
