Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just gift wrapped bread.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
