One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
