I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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