Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
