lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize