Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize