Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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