uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
