I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
