He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
