You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just had sex on a roof
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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