I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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