it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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