Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
