I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
