Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
