Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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