Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
