dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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