Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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