DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
