There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
