We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
