Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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