Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
