I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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