Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
