He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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