We need to rekindle our bromance
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
