ugly people sure do ruin things
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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