So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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