Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
