my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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