I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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