Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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