I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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