So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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