There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
