No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize