I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You ate ashes out of my bong
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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