I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
