More tranny stories later!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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