I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
