Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
