i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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