Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I didn't notice because vodka
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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