i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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