yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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