is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
