I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
