You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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