I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The struggles of a small town man whore
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
